


(Don't) Say Anything

by barelyprolific



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Evan Buckley is Bisexual, M/M, Missed Chances, almost lovers, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 19:13:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17188751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barelyprolific/pseuds/barelyprolific
Summary: His name is Luca, he’s twenty-two, and on their first date, he sucks Buck’s brains out through his dick.





	(Don't) Say Anything

“Are you single?”

It’s not the first time that someone has asked Buck that while he’s on duty. It’s been awhile and things are different now--he’s different now--but Buck still turns with a flirty grin without really thinking about it. The expression fades when he remembers there are no cute girls on this call.

There’s a cute guy, though, with soft brown hair and brown eyes and a pink mouth that curves when Buck meets his gaze. He winks. 

Buck flushes, looks back down at the kid he’s supposed to be helping. “You asking me out with your friend like this?”

“He’d be doing the same thing.” The guy laughs. “And that’s not an answer to my question.” 

Glancing around, Buck sees Eddie look away quickly, Hen trying to hide a laugh. Even Cap looks amused, like seeing Buck flustered is entertaining. He ducks his head, fighting a scowl, and when he lifts his head again, he gives the guy his best seductive grin. The guy blinks, color coming to his cheeks.

“Actually, I just started dating again.”

The color deepens, that pink mouth falling open just a little before snicking shut. A grin that tries too hard to be confident appears. “So what are you into? Thai food? Indian? Italian? French?” 

Buck sits back. “Look, kid, you can take me wherever, but you gotta quit distracting me with the flirting and let me help your friend.”   


“Right. Right. Go ahead. I’ll...check Yelp.” The guy backs off a little, gives Buck and Eddie room to work. 

Buck makes sure to get his number when he leaves. 

 

His name is Luca, he’s twenty-two, and on their first date, he sucks Buck’s brains out through his dick. Buck still isn’t sure how they ended up there, but afterwards, Luca cuddles up next to him, and Buck holds him while they sleep, so. He’s not really complaining. Luca has a shift at a cafe the next morning, so Buck walks him to work, leaves with a free cup of coffee that he’s still sipping when he enters the station. 

“Don’t you look pleased,” Hen chirps, and Buck flips her off. “Uh-oh. This isn’t a walk of shame?”

“Not ashamed.” Buck settles on the couch with his coffee, lifting it towards Cap where he’s cooking. “I had a really nice date with a really sweet guy.”

Chim starts choking on his own coffee, has to set his cup down. “Did you just say a guy?”

“Yeah.” Buck shrugs. “Luca. From that call a couple of days ago.” 

“Wait, you actually went out on a date with him?” 

Even Hen seems surprised, sitting up a little, studying Buck pensively. 

“He asked, and he did back off so that I could help his friend. Besides, he’s nice. Young--” This gets a snort from Cap, “--but nice. Funny. Cute.” A spark of mischief lights up Buck’s eyes. “And he’s got an amazing--”

“Okay,” Cap interrupts. “Buck, we’re all very happy for you, but we don’t need the personal details.”   


“At least not this early,” Hen says. “I need at least one good, adrenaline-inducing call before I want to hear about that.” She pauses, grins, “But I do want to hear about it.”

“Hear about what?” Eddie appears at the top of the stairs, looking around at the group. Hen’s smile fades, and she and Chim exchange a glance that Buck doesn’t understand. 

“My date,” Buck says, turning to grin at Eddie. “With Luca.”

“Who’s Luca?”

“Kid who was hitting on Buck the other day.” Cap finishes whatever he’s cooking and snaps the burner off. 

“You went out with him?” There’s something in how Eddie says it that gives Buck pause. That’s not… It isn’t right, for Eddie to look at him like that.

Eddie didn’t want him.

Buck pushes the thought aside, shrugs and forces a grin. “He was cute, and he thinks I’m pretty awesome.” He turns back to Hen, “And the sex is…” Buck bites his lip, does a little fist pump. 

“Thought you weren’t doing the sleep around thing anymore.” Eddie says it like he was there when Buck did it before. Like he’s disappointed in Buck or something. 

“Hey, it’s not like that. I really like Luca. There could be something there.”

A risked glance at Eddie’s face tells Buck his words just made things worse, but he’s not sure why. 

 

It’s been awhile since Buck let another guy fuck him, but on their fourth date, Luca takes him to bed and Buck had forgotten, really, how good it feels. Not the rubber or silicone of a fake dick, not the hesitant thrusts of a woman wearing a strap-on, but an actual cock in his ass. 

Fuck, it feels so good Buck doesn’t even mind having to sit a little gingerly the next day. Of course Hen notices, and of course Chim chimes in with the teasing. It stops abruptly when Eddie appears.

As weird as Eddie is being about the whole thing, Buck is honestly grateful. He doesn’t need attention drawn to the fact that he and Luca are having--safe, sane, consensual!--sex if it’s only going to make Eddie look at him the way he has been the last few weeks.

Eddie has a wife. He picked her. Didn’t even talk to Buck about it. So Buck doesn’t know what his problem is. 

 

Around three months, Luca starts coming by the station to bring Buck food, or just say hi. Abby never did that. Nobody Buck’s dated has done that. Asks Chim or Hen or Cap about stories Buck’s told him about them, sitting on the arm of the couch with his arm around Buck’s shoulders, fingers in his hair while Buck keeps touching his thigh. Luca calls Buck his hot firefighter boyfriend and jokes that all his friends are jealous, to the amusement of the team. He kisses Buck on his cheek when he leaves, waves at everyone with a huge smile.

Luca whispers that he loves Buck when they have sex. It’s the first time anyone has ever said it first.

 

When Eddie and Shannon end things for good, nobody is surprised. What is surprising, at least for Buck, is the fact that that night, Eddie shows up at his apartment.

He didn’t even know Eddie had his new address.

Luca is out of town, on a camping trip with his friends, and Eddie has brought beers. It feels familiar, easy, the way it was so briefly between them back when Eddie first started working. Buck’s almost expecting the way Eddie leans in for a kiss.

The way he stops him, though… Buck hadn’t been expecting himself to do that. 

“I have a boyfriend,” he reminds Eddie gently. “Who I really care about.”

Eddie nods, although it seems like the words pain him to hear almost as much as they hurt Buck to say. “You love him?”

“I love you.” It’s the first time Buck has said the words out loud. It isn’t ideal. It isn’t anywhere close. Maybe it’s even cruel. “But I made a commitment to Luca, and I’m not… I’m not throwing that away on something I’m not sure about.”

Eddie doesn’t say anything for a long time. Buck is just getting restless, ready to get up and start cleaning, when he speaks. “Are we ever going to be ready for each other?”

That’s...a funny way of putting it. He was always ready for Eddie. Buck isn’t sure what to say.

So he doesn’t say anything at all. 


End file.
